So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize