The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
