Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
