People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
