used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
