Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
