fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
