I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize