that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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