guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The adults are the big ones right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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