shes about as inviting as chlamydia
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
