Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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