Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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