sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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