Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
