I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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