You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
