I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
