It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
