i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
