i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
