What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
