I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
