Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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