Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize