The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize