I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Hippo gnu deer
the gays at disneyland are vicious
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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