Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you inspire me to be a worse person
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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