I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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