She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
