Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
