there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
