I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now