U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
True strength comes from lack of pants
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere