Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.