yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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