Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
