Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize