I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
