$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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