I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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