It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
No I am not eating basil off your cock
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
