Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
