I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
