Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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