yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
