I like to think it a success when the cops are called
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
