my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize