I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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