I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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