Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
