She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
