He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
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And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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