As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You were trust falling into bushes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
