i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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