maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
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He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
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I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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