My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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