heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
