just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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